…and the Irony is, those parts of ourselves that we least like must be embraced, not shunned if we are to be free of them.
They must be wooed back to us, held, loved better and given what they need – and that is to stand those parts in the Light of Self Acceptance until they are forgiven and have reintegrated into the whole self. This is Self Acceptance and this is Acceptance we crave.
We sometimes think it is Acceptance from others that we are yearning for – from people in particular or society in general. Yet we cannot even receive that acceptance from anyone unless we have first allowed ourselves to accept that fragment that has been out in the cold.
There is no running from those parts of the self we deem ‘ugly’ or ‘weak’. Shunning or denying what we don’t like about ourselves just keeps the behaviour, thoughts and judgements in a holding pattern. When we do not take responsibility for our shortcomings, incidents borne from the fruit of these old redundant parts of the self and from the secret conflict we have inside because we don’t like this part of ourselves, keep recurring.
We all do this. And we all have denial about it …until we don’t. I always find when the denial lifts, this is when I feel the most pain because I feel bad that I have spent so long living in the dark (on a certain issue). That is when I feel a lack of self acceptance: that I should be more evolved than I am. How can I STILL be at ‘this stage’. That is when I take both the shortcoming that I have just become aware of and the self judgement of not being perfect and stand them in the light. Which is to say I practice a series of meditations on Self Acceptance. And, of course, I reach out to wise friends who remind me: It’s about Progress not Perfection.
So, do we embrace that shitty, weak, desperate, pushy, mean, selfish, or feeble part of ourself? Or do do we try and shut her out; starve her and hope she will die quietly? Pull those parts close, amors. They are your little children, learning through mistakes. They are not to be scolded for learning! But held until their lesson is learnt and their pain subsides.
It casts another Light to the saying:
“To err is human, to forgive is divine.” ~ Alexander Pope.
Love (all of) you,
ps I am able to provide access to meditation material from my mentors upon request.